Don't Pretend You Ever Forgot About Me
by IAmWeWere
Summary: The story of how I got to where I am right now, looking at the father of my child for the first time in ten years in a book store. I never could forget about you. I say smiling and looking at my ten year old daughter Rose.
1. Two O'clock Soap

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the harry potter characters and if I did I would not be writing this!!!

Baby, seasons change but people don't  
And I will be waiting in the back of the room  
I'm boring to overcompensate for  
headlines and flash flash flash photography  
Don't pretend you ever forgot about me  
Don't pretend you ever forgot about me

Would you rather be a widow or a divorcee?  
Snap your way through fashion magazines  
Widow or divorcee?  
Don't pretend  
Don't pretend

We don't fight fair

Say your head could be a prison,  
Then these are just conjugal visits,  
People feel the sickness still,  
This doesn't

Don't pretend you ever forgot about me..  
Don't pretend you ever forgot about me...

Would you rather be a widow than a divorcee?  
Snap your way through fashion magazines  
Widow or a divorcee  
Don't pretend  
Don't pretend

we do it in the dark,  
with smiles on our faces,  
we're trapped and well concealed,  
in secret places

we do it in the dark,  
with smiles on our faces,  
we're trapped and well concealed,  
in secret places

We don't fight fair  
We don't fight fair  
We don't fight fair  
We don't fight fair  
We don't fight fair

we do it in the dark,  
with smiles on our faces,  
we're trapped and well concealed,  
in secret places

we do it in the dark,  
with smiles on our faces,  
we're trapped and well concealed,  
in secret places

We don't fight fair  
Fair

Smiles on our faces  
We're trapped and well concealed  
In secret places

Don't pretend you ever forgot about me  
Don't pretend you ever forgot about me  
We don't fight fair

Hermione Jane Granger, quite a dull name don't you think. Well it's mine and I have to keep it. Over the last year the sweetest, cruelest, scariest, and greatest things have happened to me. It all started a year ago. It was two weeks before going back to Hogwarts for my final year. I decided to spend the last two weeks with my best friends. Ginny Weasley and Lavender Brown. They came to stay two weeks with me while my parents went to a dental convention. I was really excited. I grabbed the keys to my burgundy mustang convertible and took it to the supermarket. You can't survive girl time without three things: Chocolate, junk food, and lots of magazines with all the stupid quizzes you love to take titled _"Does he really care?"_ I got a parking spot really close which made me happy to begin with but my happiness would slowly fade and turn to confusion during my time at the store.

I wore this great outfit come to think about it. I was wearing a really cute dark wash mini-skirt with silver sequins lining the hem and a black wife beater with my silver and black addidas sandals. It was comfort and cuteness rolled into one which I absolutely adore. Comfort for me, has to be somewhere in an outfit. I walked into the store and headed for the chocolate, my favorite thing in the whole world. I turned down the left aisle and ran right into someone. I thought that only happened in movies and shit like that. I looked up and almost peed on myself from laughing so hard. It was Draco Malfoy, in a supermarket, A MUGGLE SUPERMARKET.

"What are you doing in a supermarket?" I managed to choke out through my laughter.

"Granger it's none of your business what I'm doing in a muggle place like this. I could ask you the same thing." He said coolly.

"Ok, if you really want to know why I'm in here, I confess I was buying tampons." I said seriously, trying not to burst out laughing. His features contorted slowly to a countenance of disgust.

"Granger I don't need to know about your feminine problems. I think I'm going to throw up!" He pronounced to everyone on aisle six.

"I'm sorry darling I didn't know it bothered you so much." I said as if we really were together. Everyone on aisle six was staring to see where our fight was going. I smile at him daring him to disagree.

"It's okay sweetheart I forgive you." He said kissing me soundly on the forehead. Was so not expecting that. Then I played it up giving the housewives on the aisle missing their two o'clock soap opera their dose of drama.

"You forgive me! I try and I try and you never get it do you! DO YOU!" I said faking a quiet sob. He was looking scared and I loved every minute of it.

"Love, I am over you always trying to control me damn it! I just want to be loved!" I whispered like it was my main goal in life. I should have taken up an acting career.

The next thing drove me crazy for two weeks and it still does today. He leaned down and kissed me. His lips were cool and soft. The connection was deliciously electrifying. I didn't pull back like he expected good girl, bookworm, prudish Hermione Granger to do. I leaned in more intensifying the kiss while all the housewives dropped their kids' favorite box of cereal in astonishment. Then when he was starting to really get into it I let go and ruffled his hair.

"See you later love!" I winked, grabbed my chocolate, magazines, junk food, and just for the effect of it tampons and left.

Later that night when Ginny and Lavender came over I had the best thing to tell. Ginny was finishing up her story about Harry and Lavender about Ron. I couldn't wait to see their faces when I told them about the supermarket.

"And then I winked at him and left." I said blushing. The story was harder to tell then I thought. As soon as I called Malfoy Darling out loud to my friends a blush had crept up my neck and onto my face.

"You kissed Draco Malfoy?" Lavender asked in complete shock.

"He kissed ME!" I said for emphasis. I really didn't think they would be this shocked. I thought it would be easily laughed off.

"This is HUGE Herms. Since the war Malfoy hasn't even so much as looked at a girl let alone kissed one." Ginny yelled.

"Gin calm down." I said the blush becoming a shade darker every second. "It didn't mean anything, it was just a joke." I say trying to convince myself of my own reasoning.

"Herms! Don't you understand? Draco Malfoy wants you." Lavender said with an evil glint shining in her eyes.

"And I care because?" I asked. I knew I couldn't lie to myself. Just thinking about the kiss took my breath away.

"Because for one Draco Malfoy is the hottest guy at Hogwarts. You have to work this!" Ginny said seriously. I couldn't believe what a joke had turned in to.

"What do I do then?" I asked.

"Make Draco Malfoy want you more then he already does." Lavender explained and Ginny nodded in agreement.


	2. Special Undies

We woke up after long hours of talking and planning and went into the kitchen for breakfast. I love being with my best friends! We always have the best time. They sat on the two bar stools and leaned over onto the raised counter while I grabbed bowls and the mix. We made muffins the muggle way even though we were of legal age, at least Lavender and I were.

"So…Ginny, would you go all the way with Harry?" Lavender asked as if she was sooooo innocent.

"Uh…" Ginny replied intelligently. "Depends." Ginny was sixteen and we were seventeen.

"What do you mean it depends?" Lavender and I asked at the same time.

"Well I mean it would depend if Harry loved me or not! If he did then absolutely if he didn't then hell no!"

I smiled at her and she smiled back. We finished up breakfast and an owl tapped on my window holding three letters. They were school lists, one for me, Lav, and Ginny. At the top it informed us that school uniforms were out of effect. We all three smiled and instantly thought SHOPPING! We each grabbed our purses and headed for my mustang. I never let anyone else drive it but me. Gin and Lav absolutely adored muggle stores and so do I so that was where we went. To the mall.

I know it was wrong but we always transfigured pieces of paper in to muggle money. This allowed us to buy anything we wanted from the mall. Is it so wrong to want to buy everything? We had each made a fair amount of purchases as we entered Victoria Secret. Some of the stuff in there I would never have dared to wear at seventeen however Lav seemed to feel differently.

"I have an idea." Lav said.

"Really? I am sooooo proud of you!" I told her with sweet sarcasm dripping in my voice.

"Shut up!" She hit me playfully. "I was thinking we could each buy a really sexy special pair of underwear and a bra and we would only ever wear them once. We would wear them the night we lost our virginity." Lav smiled.

"What?!" I said shocked. I had never even considered losing** that **until I was married.

"Oh don't look so innocent Herms." Ginny looked at me with a face that said "Oh puh-lease."  
"I'm serious." I said trying to convince them.

"Whatever! Even if you wait until marriage you'll still have them! They won't have ever been used." Lavender explained.

So I went with their ploy. I bought silk black undies and a bra to match. On both there was silver stitching. We weren't the kind of girls that were skinny. We all three, were thicker and we loved it. Most of the skinny girls in our grades had no curves what so ever. Even though none of us were skinny we all looked great in our new lingerie. We bought it and left.

"So who are you gonna wear your new undergarments for?" I asked Lav.

"Ron." Lav said her face going pale as she realized what she had said.

"No I meant in the future! I really did." She said pathetically. Ginny and I laughed.

"We believe you." Ginny consoled her and I nodded quickly in agreement.

The few days we had left went by so quickly. It was great spending time with them though. Lav and Ginny picked out my outfit for the first day of my seventh year so to as they put it, "Make Malfoy sweat." I smiled as I looked at what they had laid out for me. Laying on my bed were my new dark wash jeans from American Eagle, my new black sweater from this cool new store I couldn't for the life of me remember the name of. The shirt had a plunging neckline but under the shirt an aqua tank with lace on the top halfway covering my exposed skin.

Lav did my make up. I never wore make up and Lav didn't like that. She lined my eyes with black eyeliner and gold metallic colored eye shadow. She brushed black mascara over my eyelashes. Lastly she smoothed rose colored gloss over my lips. I pulled on my new black boots and we were set. Ginny looked amazing. She was able to wear any color she wanted now that she had dyed her hair blonde magically.We had all agreed to wear black the first day. Ginny sported a black tank with a black leather jacket over it, light colored jeans, and red, leather, boots. Lav wore a black sweater similar to mine, a black and white leather mini skirt. The skirt was divided on the front into four squares two black and two white. She also had on black boots.

We grabbed our stuff and apparated to King's Cross. We boarded the train after we dropped off our stuff at the luggage unit. We headed to the compartment we always share with Harry and Ron. When we sat down Ron and Harry were staring at me.

"What?" I asked them.

"Who are you?" Harry asked incredulously.

I got up silently signaling Lav and Gin I was fine and walked out of the compartment. I passed Malfoy in the aisle and he grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"You look good Granger." He said his eyes smiling.

"How'd you know it was me, Harry and Ron didn't recognize me?" I laughed.

"No one has eyes quite like you Granger…" His own bored into mine and it scared me. I felt like he could see my soul.


	3. 1001 Ways To Woo A Witch

My head was spinning and I could hardly breathe as I made my way to the great hall for dinner. The way he had looked at me…I took my seat with Harry, Ron, Lavender, and Ginny. They look at me again and I think they get it, that it's me Hermione Granger. They acted like the thing on the train had never happened but I would never forget the way he looked at me. Malfoy had leveled a truce with us, our whole group during the war when he switched sides.

It wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. Ohhhhh Draco switched sides let's forgive him forever. No. That is not how it all went down. He had come to Grimwald Place half dead, literally. He had been severely beaten and lots of blood was visible which had made me squeamish. After that we all had just put trust in each other and Draco had proved himself to us when he saved Ginny from the killing curse, thinking quick and putting a shield charm between the attacker and Ginny. He didn't fall in love with her and she wasn't like "Ohhhhh my hero!". They had a newfound respect for each other, we all did.

There wasn't a head boy or head girl that year. I didn't mind. I had given up so much of my life already for my studies. I love Hogwarts and I love learning new things but that was just too much of a responsibility. The feast was amazing but my thoughts were elsewhere. Of course being the Hermione Granger that I was I left the feast earlier to be the first one in the library and the first one to check out a book. When I entered the library besides Madame Pince I wasn't the only one there like usual. Draco Malfoy was sitting at a table all by himself reading god knows what. I crept up behind him and placed my lips right next to his ear.

"Clean up on aisle six." I whispered. He started and turned around to face me.

"Granger." He said with a small smile gracing his lips.

"Whatcha reading?" I asked.

"Uh…nothing." He said snatching up the book.

"Really?" I said my lips inches from his. The book dropped to the floor with a thud and he leaned closer.

I pulled back quickly and grabbed it from the floor. As I read the title I began to laugh. It read "A Thousand Ways to Woo a Witch." He looked at me a blush creeping slowly up his neck and onto his face.

"What witch are you trying to woo?" I asked as a tear escaped me from laughing so hard.

He wouldn't answer me. He grabbed the book and glared at me fire pulsing through his eyes. I was taken aback. I discreetly left the library and walked to the common room.

Why was he so mad? It was just a freaking question! On the way back I ran into Ginny. I told her about the library and Draco freaking out. She laughed hysterically just as I had.

"Why do you think he got so mad?" I asked her.

"Well…isn't it obvious?" She asked me like I was stupid.

"Uh...NO!" I told her! Why would I have asked if I already knew?

"If you don't figure it out by dinner I'll tell you." She said walking away.

"I hate you!" I called after her.

"Love you too!" She called back blowing me a kiss.

It killed me the rest of the day and at lunch I pleaded with her to tell me but all she said in the poshest voice she could muster, "Patience darling patience" while pretending to blow smoke into the air. I laughed at her impression but it still irritated me that I didn't know! Finally I made it to dinner. I ran to our table and quickly sat down beside her. She still wouldn't tell me so eventually I gave up. I said bye to Ginny and Lav and headed to bed early. I need to seriously think.

Weeks went by and Draco and I hardly spoke a word. I really felt bad for whatever it was that made him go off like that! I saw him leave class and hurried to catch up with him. Once I made my way to him I grabbed him by the front of his robes and pressed my mouth hard against his. It was even better then the kiss in the grocery store and I found myself getting lost in the goodness of it all. Finally I pull back breathing hard and smile at the look in his eyes, it was a good smile.

"Don't you think you could ever forget about me, Draco." I whispered into his ear sending chills all over his body. I winked at him, ruffled his hair, and walked away leaving him dumbfounded.


	4. The Special Ones

Chapter 4 The Special Ones

I thought about what happened almost four months ago. That kiss I gave Draco. We had been together ever since even though nobody knows. It's better that way. I hated keeping things from my best friends but I didn't want to lose them because they didn't like Draco. Things had been going so well for us and I didn't want to screw it up. Ever since that day at the supermarket... what a stupid beginning for a love story, everything changed between us. I decided to do something huge and I needed to consult someone so I went to Ginny and Lavender. I know that Lavender spills things but only things that aren't so important. I felt that I could trust her with this, and I was right.

I had to make sure that no one else heard us. No one! We waited until midnight and then left our dorm room. We all had on black sweats and long sleeved shirts so as to be able to blend in with the shadows. I know this all sounds a little James Bondish but hey! We continued our route until we reached the astronomy tower. We made sure that no one was in there doing things they weren't supposed to and then I laid down a blanket. We all three sat in a circle and I placed a candle in font of each of us. A red, cinnamon candle for Gin, a yellow, vanilla candle for Lav, and a brown, baked apple spice in front of me. I slowly lit all three and then blew the match out.

This had been our ritual for three years. Every time we had a huge life altering decision laid before us we discussed it with each other at 12:30 am in the astronomy tower. I was to write what I was going to do on a bit of parchment and then pass it to the right. Gin was to my right. Her reaction was the one I was most afraid to see. I lifted my quill out of the ink and started with the first letter. When I had finished I was shaking as I passed it to Ginny. When she read it she didn't make a sound and her face remained expressionless. Lavender's reaction was the same as Ginny's. When we started this we had agreed to try to be as little judgmental as possible. If they thought that what I wanted to do was reasonable then they would blow out their candle and we would leave. If they disagreed the candle would burn all night and we would discuss why the person should not follow through with their decision. The first person to make a move was Ginny. She opened her mouth and I expected sound to come out but she leaned over and blew out her candle. Lavender blew hers out as well and I followed. We didn't say a word to each other. We hadn't since I had called for the meeting.

When I turned to go to my bed Ginny and Lav smiled at me and I knew they were happy with what I was going to do. But was I? That question ran through my head over and over. Yes. I was. The next day was Friday and we made it through classes quickly. I was glad. I was so nervous. I went back to my room and changed out of my uniform and in turn I pulled on my one use only underwear. Over top I wore a pair of straight legged black jeans and a royal blue off the shoulders, empire waist looking shirt. I pulled on my black leather boots that reach my knees and walk out the door and I knew that when I walked back through I would not be the same Hermione Granger.

Two months have passed since that night and I don't regret my decision one bit. Ginny and Lavender are wonderful and have not asked me all these questions about it they just smile every now and then and it's like we hold a secret inside that only the three of us know. The week after our nightly ritual Lavender called on about Ron and then a month later Ginny about Harry. We didn't tell anyone else we just kept it between us and it was like we were sisters. Like we always would be. Then I missed two periods and my world fell into one of worry and paranoia. I felt like everyone knew that I wasn't pure anymore. I was imagining it of course but then it had felt so real. I was so afraid to go do it by myself. To get tested so I had Ginny and Lavender come with me to the hospital wing when I was to get it done. Hadn't dared to tell Draco.

"Ms. Granger how can I help you." Madame Pomfrey asked with a smile. She wouldn't be smiling for much longer. I was supposed to be a model student!

"I need a test." I had told her watching her expression change from cheery to serious all within a matter of seconds. I grabbed both Ginny and Lavender's hands so afraid.

"Come this way Ms. Granger." Madame Pomfrey said briskly walking towards the back. "Roll up your sleeve." She commanded and I instantly did as I was told. She pulled out a needle and drew blood from my arm. I cringed the whole time. I hate needles.

"How effective is this." I asked cautiously.

"One-hundred percent completely effective." She said not quite looking me in the eyes.

"How long will we have to wait to find out the results?" Ginny asked, a question I would have never thought of during my state of nervousness.

"It will take a couple of seconds. I will wave my wand at the vile and it will change to either nothing, red the color of your blood, or a fluorescent green." I nodded and as she completed the spell I couldn't look. I felt Ginny tense beside me and I didn't need to look at the vile because she had already told me. Lavender's gasp was a dead give away as well. I wanted to collapse. I instantly thought about regret but I felt none towards Draco.

"You have three options Ms. Granger. You can keep the baby and put it up for adoption, You can keep the baby for yourself and the father to raise, or you can have an abortion." She looked at me, finally looked at me.

"I…I don't know." I said looking at the ground. "I will not give up my baby if I have it but I don't want to have an abortion either even though I…I'm so young. I guess I'll have it the."

"Well no one will know about your pregnancy. I will keep my mouth shut and we will put a concealing charm on you that only your two closest friends, and I'm assuming you two are," She nodded towards Ginny and Lavender, "That only your two friends, you, and the father of the child will see you changing to everyone else you will look like the same Hermione. Also if someone tries to harm you in anyway they won't be able to because of the protection spells set around you and the baby." She finished and set the charm. I reached down, even though my stomach was still flat, and rubbed my hands lightly across it. How could I have let this happen to me?

I leave the hospital wing and start into a sprint going as fast as I could towards the Slytherin dorm. I had to tell Draco I had to. Lucky for me I ran into him before I had to go to the dorms. He walked by me with out a backwards glance. I called after him. I screamed and eventually I broke down crying. Had he heard? Had Lav told? I just couldn't bare it anymore. I leaned against the wall and cried.


	5. Pavarti Patil

Chapter 5 Pavarti Patil

Sunlight poured through my window waking me up and I come to the conclusion that Lavender and Ginny must have carried me back to my room. My cheeks were stiff with tears and the clock read ten a.m. Shit I was going to be late for my first class. I threw on a pair of lose jeans and a red v-neck tee. I grabbed my books and began to run when I realized I was late for potions. I'd have to face Draco and Snape. When I sat down beside Ron in my usual seat, I looked multiple times for him and I couldn't find him. I think of how we were together two weeks ago:

_We walk together down by the lake. It's so beautiful how the sun is refracting off the water creating a world of color. The sky maintained a bright blue, but dark clouds began to form. We were hand in hand. The rain begins and in a matter of seconds we are both drenched and I just smile because he's standing here beside me. For a moment we say nothing, we just stare into each other's eyes and after all we'd done together it was the most intimate experience I'd ever had. He leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. He murmured words against my forehead and it made my skin tingle and I almost collapse in shock._

"_Je t'aime ma cherie." He tells me seriously._

"_Je t'aime aussi." I reply smiling and just as serious as he is. _

I should've known that something was up when he told me that he loved me but I didn't and I just kept going. I didn't see him all day and I started to get really angry. Finally I confronted McGonagall after I hadn't seen him for a week.

"Where is Draco?" I whispered barely hearing my own voice.

"I am not permitted to share his where abouts Ms. Granger but I can tell you that he is no longer a student at this school." She told me briskly.

"Sorry, I didn't…" I stumble and make sure I make it out of her office before I completely dissolve into a fit of tears. I skipped all of my classes that day and Gin and Lav stayed with me.

"What do you think happened to him?" Ginny glanced at me and then the floor.

"I don't know but it is clear to me that I now have to do this alone. Without him." I said, my voice shaking just a little.

"You won't be alone! We'll be there with you every step of the way." Lav rubbed my back. I exhaled a sigh.

"I'm two months gone and due August seventh. We graduate May 30th. I should be able to get out of here before anyone notices, right?"

"Remember the concealing charm?" Lavender looks at me strangely.

"Oh, yeah." I mutter.

It's February first and I'm now three months gone. I wonder if Lav and Gin can see a difference in me. I've had morning sickness for only one week. I asked Pomfrey for a morning sickness potion and she gave me two months worth because by my fifth month I should be done with it. I can at least keep everything down now! The only thing that plagues me is that Pavarti was always there in the lavatory when I threw up. For a whole week I always threw up after meals. She either thinks I'm a bulimic or I'm pregnant and I hope to god it's the former rather then the latter. I really don't want all of Hogwarts to know.

I'm going to have to get better suiting clothes for the next two months. I haven't seen much of Harry and Ron. I miss them, but most of all I miss Draco. I miss being with him. I don't even know where the hell he is right now. He could be dead. (I know an over exaggeration.) I have an appointment with Madame Pomfrey today about the sex of my baby. At three months you can figure it out in the wizarding world. I am extremely nervous but I'm going by myself this time. Lavender and Ginny don't even know about his appointment. When I walk into the hospital wing I go straight to the back and wait. This is how it will go for the next six months. She renews the concealing and protection spells each visit so the baby stays safe and so does my reputation. Every three weeks I have to come here…She comes back to where I am and pulls out her wand and a vial that contains pink coloured liquid.

"You are to take all of the liquid in the vile no matter how nasty or horrible it tastes." She commands as she hands it to me. I nod and knock it back, swallowing it all. It tastes like shit and burns my throat but I manage somehow to keep it down. She mutters and incantation and the burning in my throat recedes but my body, my limbs start to glow pink.

"Congratulations Ms. Granger. You will be having a baby girl." She smiles at me for the first time in a month and I hop down from the table. I bite my lip as I smile and I can't help it a tear escapes me.

I run all the way back the Gryffindor common room nearly knocking Harry down. He asks me if I'm okay and I nod and go past him. I pull Lavender and Ginny into my room and make sure none of my roommates are in and tell them. Lavender and Ginny start crying and screaming and eventually I'm crying too and we're hugging each other a million times.  
The next Hogsmeade trip has arrived and we are going to buy maternity clothes. I had always pictured doing this with my husband when I was twenty-five but that's all gone down the damn toilet. We make sure no one from the school sees us slip into the shop. I'm afraid to see myself starting to show. I am far from starting to but I am so scared. It will make it all seem so real, not that the throwing up wasn't real, it was so real, but different. I mill around and try on a bunch of things and I am so happy because the outfits are adorable. We bring them to the check out and I lay them all down. The clerk looks up and gives me this look.

"Aren't you a little young?" She looks over me as if I'm trash and suddenly I want to break into to tears but I don't let myself. I look her straight in the eye not faltering in the least.

"I am twenty-three years old. What's so young about that?" I glare.

"Sorry I thought…"

"I don't care what you thought or think ring up my clothes please and don't expect me to recommend this place or ever come back." I snap.

"Go Herms." Ginny whispers to me. The bell on the door rings as I grab my bags and I turn around to see Pavarti Patil's eyes piercing my own.

A/N If you're wondering Je t'aime mon cherie means I love you my dear and then she told him that she loved him too. Read and Review please! Luv ya

Kiah


	6. Five Months and White Nikes

Chapter 6

Before I can say anything to Pavarti she turns on her heel and leaves the store. I give Ginny and Lav my bags and tell them to meet me back at my room. I hurry out the door after her. When I catch up to her I tap her on the shoulder and when she turns around her face instantly pales.

"What?" She says so quietly I almost don't hear her.

"Um…please don't tell anyone that I was in there." I say nervously.

"Of course I won't tell anyone." She says firmly. Then it hits me. Pavarti being in the bathroom while I was, her coming into the maternity shop.

"Are you?" I ask motioning to my stomach.

"Yes." She whispers looking terrible ashamed. "I'm five months gone. I've only told my family and Dean, the father. Dean won't have anything to do with me. He says that I'm a whore. He thinks that I cheated on him with other guys but I was only ever with him in that way. He refuses to believe me though. Padma won't talk to me and my parents won't either. They are ashamed of me." She looks down fidgeting with her gloves.

"Why are they so ashamed of you Pavarti?" I ask before I can stop it from coming out.

"Can I trust you Hermione?"

"Of course. I wouldn't tell a soul." I say.

"Not even Lavender and Ginny?" She asks, oh is she good!

"Not even them." I say, and I mean it.

"I was betrothed. I know that sounds stupid and old fashioned but it's the truth. I was betrothed to an Indian boy who's twenty right now. Three years older then me. I loved him. I loved Dean too. I thought I loved Dean so much more but now I'm not even sure. Padma is betrothed to his brother, who is sixteen, a year younger. About four months ago I was home for a family meeting about the betrothal. I had gotten special permission from McGonagall to go home. So had Padma. That's when I had started throwing up. I thought I was just sick and I would get over it. Then things started making sense. My missing period, my throwing up, so I went to a muggle store and bought a pregnancy test.

I had heard that sometimes they are more accurate then wizarding tests and that with muggle tests you didn't have to have a parent present to buy one. When I got home I ran upstairs and took the test. I laid it on the counter and set a timer. I left to go get a book and I didn't think that anyone would come up to use the restroom but Padma did. She saw the test and started screaming at me. The test was positive and she went insane. She started calling me names and saying that I didn't belong in the family. That I was filth. Then she went down stairs and told Raj, my betrothal, his brother, my parents, and his parents that I was pregnant. That was the end of it. My parents told me not to come home anymore that I was disowned and the Iyers left. Raj wouldn't even look at me." She said tears now streaming steadily down her face.

I pulled her into a hug and we kept walking down the street. It's not safe for pregnant women past three months to apparate and I didn't feel like apparating so I kept walking with Pavarti. I felt so awful about what happened to her. It made me think about having to tell my parents. I didn't want to think about it yet.

"You don't have to do this alone." I tell her.

"Yes I do! I don't have anyone left. No one at all." She whispers.

"You have me, Lav, and Gin." I say without a moment's hesitation.

"Really?" She looks at me with a watery smile.

"Really." I smile back.

"I don't want to be rude but who is the father of your baby?" She blushed.

"Well, if you promise not to tell anyone…"

"I promise." She laughs.

"Draco." I say solemnly.

"Oh, I…I'm sorry he's not here."

"Yeah. Do you know what you're having?" I ask her trying to lighten up the mood.

"No I haven't been to Pomfrey." It was then I noticed that she didn't have a concealment charm but she had done a good job hiding it herself. "Do you?" She asks.

"I'm having a little baby girl. Rose Madelyn Granger." I smile at the name I had come up with.

"That's a beautiful name." She smiles.

I'm glad now that I went after Pavarti instead of just letting her walk away. Pavarti was decked out in a long dark brown peasant skirt and a large pale pink sweater to cover her stomach. I however sported a William & Mary sweat jacket, dark wash, tight jeans, and white Nikes. I've found someone who's in a similar situation. When we made it back to the castle she walked up with me to my room where Ginny and Lav were waiting. They smile when they see her and don't ask questions. It's just one of the things I love about them. They are just so nice and inviting to other people. A couple of hours later Pavarti had explained her problem to Lav and Gin and they had agreed to help her just as I knew that would.

"I would like to have a boy but a girl would be fine too." Pavarti smiled looking into space.

"What would you name a boy?" Lav asked finishing up her nails with a final touch of gold colored liquid.

"His full name would be Gabriel Jackson Patil."

"That's nice. I really like Gabriel." Ginny smiles.

Today things had changed and hopefully things would get better but now I would forever be wondering what in the hell happened to Draco. The only man I would ever and have ever loved…


	7. Baring IT ALL

Chapter 7 Pavarti Patil.

I'm five months gone now and I felt Rose kick for the first time. I ran all the way to breakfast to let Lavender and Gin feel and Rose wouldn't kick again! Pavarti is seven months and we really need her to go to Madame Pomfrey because she won't make it through the end of school! I'm walking down the hall because I just got an idea. I finally find Pavarti in the library and am out of breath. I've been wearing whatever I want because I have a concealing charm but Parvarti is always wearing baggy things. I slide into the chair beside, my smile hurting my cheeks so finally I let it fall.

"Pavarti?"

"Yeah." She sniffed. She'd been crying. I could tell by her voice and the way her face was kind of splotchy. She still kept her head facing the table.

"What's wrong?" I whisper.

"Dean. He's…he wants to take Gabe away from me. I just know it's a boy Hermione but he's my boy. He's my child!" She said adamantly, like she was reassuring herself.

"Of course. We won't let this happen! We won't!"

I held her as she cried, rocking her back and forth. That's when I noticed the discolorations on her wrists. They look like bruises. I am so afraid for her. She has it far worse then me but we need each other. I set her up in a sitting position when she has cried all that she can.

"We need to go Madame Pomfrey." I tell her pushing her hair away from her face.

"No! I can't!" She whispered.

"Alright, I'll tell you something! If you got to Madame Pomfrey's to make sure that everything's okay with Gabe then I'll take off my concealment charm and wear tight shirts, and you'll do the same and we'll be in it together!" I smile. "You in?"

"Will you really do it?" She asks timidly.

"Of course."

"Then so will I!" She smiles a bit triumphantly and I know that she's out of her mood.

"Let's go!"

I grab her arm and we make it down to the hospital wing. When we arrive Madame Pomfrey is tending to another student. I sit down and Pavarti sits down beside me. We are talking when Harry bursts through the door scaring as all to freaking to death. Clutching my heart I manage to say something to him.

"What the hell HARRY?" I scream.

"Language Ms. Granger." Madame Pomfrey calls from the other side of the curtain.

"Sorry. Harry?" I look at him eyes wide.

"I had to find you before we left! Ron and I we have to leave. I can't say why…I'm sorry Herms. We're leaving." I see Ron in the doorway too and I don't know weather it's my pregnancy or them leaving that's triggering such emotions.

I get up and hug them and kiss them both on the cheek and then hug them again.

"Are you ok Hermione you're walking kind of funny?" Ron asks me concern invading his eyes. Shit. They don't know. I wasn't about to tell them.

"I'm fine. You guys go before I burst into tears." I say and that get's them to leave.

"I'm guessing that they don't know." Pavarti sends me a sly smile.

"Nope." I smile back.

"Ms. Granger and Ms. Patil what can I do for you?"

"Well I would like my concealment charm off," Pomfrey raised an eyebrow but I kept going, "and Ms. Patil would like to check the status of her baby." I finished.

"Her baby?" M. Pomfrey croaked shock registering on her features.

"Yes her baby."

Madame Pomfrey finally started working again and removed my concealment charm. This time shock formed on my features as the reality hit me with one look at my stomach! It's huge. Then I look at Pavarti and she has a strained look on her face.

"Now Ms. Patil, the baby is breeched meaning we have to perform a C-Section. So in two weeks you will come in for the delivery of your baby. Ms. Granger since your check up for Rose is scheduled for tomorrow why don't we take a look at her today while you're in here."

"Sounds fine to me." I smiled at Pavarti who indeed was giving birth to a boy, Gabe.

"Everything seems fine, right positioning. I need to explain something to both of you. Giving birth in the wizarding world does not save you from the pain. We perform C Sections or vaginal delivery just like the muggles do. We can give you temporary spells to take the pain away but only for two hours at a time. It will be long and difficult and not the least bit beautiful. There will be large amounts of blood. It's not for the faint hearted partner. Since I know you have people who will be with you during the birth you might want to make sure they are not squeamish.

"Everything is good girls and Ms. Patil I will see you in two weeks. Congratulations. I know it's delayed but I really mean it Ms. Patil." She smiles at us as we leave. We go up to our dorms to change. I already researched the spell to modify your clothes so I wouldn't have to buy new clothes.

We laugh all the way up to my dorm room. Pavarti levitates all of her clothes up and we start throwing stuff away from our wardrobes and enlarging and then the ones we're keeping after the birth. Then we lie out what we are going to wear to dinner. I am going to wear a longer length white tee with a black lace cami underneath and my denim skirt that comes to my knees. Pavarti lies out her pink peasant skirt, and an enlarged brown Lycra tee. We slip on shoes, me my black converses, since I'm flat footed, and Pavarti her flat, old style, lace up, 1800s looking girls' boots.

I sling my arm around her and we go over to the mirrors. We definitely look pregnant and I smile because we are together and then I remember Harry and Ron left today. I don't know where they are going and I don't know how long. I don't know what my happen to them. It's like the thing with Draco they just disappear but for different reasons. I know that Ron and Harry are gone for The Order's sake but Draco I don't know where he is. When we enter the great hall it's silent and everyone is staring. I expected this but I didn't know it would be so harsh. Then people started silent whispers and I can feel Pavarti beside me wanting so badly to hide and I grab her arm and we sit down beside Ginny and Lavender. Then Something I never expected to happen happens. I feel the freshly thrown pumpkin juice trickling down my neck, down my back seeping through my shirt. I immediately do a stain removal and drying spell and turn around to glare at whoever did it. I shouldn't have been surprised to see it was Pansy Parkinson and her crew. I hated them. More then I hated anything else I hated them.

"So the mudblood got herself knocked up!" She sniggered. "So tell us, who's the father mudblood?" I couldn't decide weather to throw it in her face that it was Draco's and watch all the blood leaver her face or just tell her to back off before I hex her. If I tell her it's Draco's then they might hurt me…what to do???

A/N Please review. I know not a very interesting chapter but there's more to come. In the meanwhile you could read and review one of my other stories cough cough BROKEN cough.


	8. What Now?

Chapter 8 What Now?

Recap:

"So the mudblood got herself knocked up!" She sniggered. "So tell us, who's the father mudblood?" I couldn't decide whether to throw it in her face that it was Draco's and watch all the blood leaver her pale skin or just tell her to back off before I hex her. If I tell her it's Draco's then they might hurt me…what to do???

End Recap

Chapter 8:

I look up at her and a grin flies across my face. It's not like she can hurt me or Rose. I have a protection charm. Just because they can all see that I'm preggers doesn't mean that they can harm me! This means Pansy's about to get a freaking reality check just like everyone in this place looking at me, waiting. I look over my shoulder at Pavarti and she her nervous smile lying half-hazardly across her face instead of the self-assured one I wear.

"We're all waiting!" Pansy sneered not aware fully of what she was pulling herself into.

"Okay." I say fake gulping. "I guess you should know that first of all I guess he gave up on whores like you and tried real people. And instead of taking Malfoy's last name she will actually be Rose Madelyn Granger." I watched her smirk drop completely and a look of one who might actually get physically sick replace it. She turned around and just as she was about to walk away she whispered something that even I know she couldn't do, it still scared me. "You'd better watch yourself when it's dark mudblood."

I look over at Pavarti and a grin finally breaks her nervous tight lipped expression. I real smile. I put my arm around her and hers around me and Ginny and Lav look at me impressed and I think this is the life until I feel a pang in my stomach.

"Oh MY GOD!" I screamed a look of pure joy crossing my face.

"What are you okay?" Lav and Pavarti call at the same time.

"Rose just kicked." I gave in being so mushy I almost made myself sick. She kicked again and Gin, Lav, and Pavarti had the same goofey smiles I did as they felt it with me. Everyone looked on still shocked I guess. Then I feel another pang but for a different reason. Where is he? Why isn't he here to share this with me? His unborn daughter. Soon dinner's over and I can act normal now. We walk up to our dorms Pavarti with us and we talk. We talk for hours over nothing and then the big question pops up.

"What are we going to do after Graduation?" Pavarti asks timidly.

"Well I guess Rose and I will have to find a place to live and then I'll have to make sure I keep her in a good school before she goes to Hogwarts. I won't hide her magic from her. I won't run away from this. She will grow up in the magical world." I say silently.

"I...don't know if I can." Pavarti smiles sadly. "Gabe and I may move to America and start a whole new life together you know. I'll talk to you guys everyday. I'll flew you because you guys are the best friends anyone could as for. I won't lose you but I can't stay here. It hurts to much. I mean I don't know how much I could stand seeing Padma at the market once a week or seeing her when I go shopping and know that I can't talk to her. Laugh with her. She'll walk by like we're strangers and won't say a word and I'll be left with an even hallower place inside." She looks away as a single tear falls and I wipe it away.

"I understand." I smile.

**Two weeks later...**

"Pavarti you've got to breathe babe." Lavender smiles and breathes that weird way pregnant women are "supposed" to breathe. "In and out."

"I'm not even going into labor you dimwit!" She smiles a nervous smile on the way to Madame Pomfrey's at five in morning. Yep you heard right! Five in the freaking morning. Six months. Three months left. That's me. The six months pregnant seventeen year old. Lovely isn't it.

"Hello Ms.Patil are you ready for today?" M.Pomfrey is smiling just a little to much if you ask me.

"Um sure?" Pavarti grimaces.

We all set a sterilizing spell over everything and Pavarti is suited up like they suit people up in muggle surgeries. Pomfrey is going to cut magical incisions in Pavarti so there will be no possibility of scarring. I watch slowly as the first cut is made and puke. I can't help it. I puke. Pavarti can't feel it or hear anything until her baby cries. That's a good thing because puking is not something you want to hear when someones cutting you open. I had to turn my back. I could still see the image of blood seeping out of that cut. I puke again. I pull out my wand and permanently remove that memory from my mind. I exhale relieved and the next thing I hear is the most wonderful thing I've ever heard. Gabriel Jackson Patil born on April 25 weighing in at six pounds five ounces. I can hear Pavarti crying and Lav and Ginny and myself. We're all crying. Even Pomfrey. I walk over and after Gabe's cleaned up I get to hold him. When he falls asleep I give him back to Pavarti and she falls asleep with him in her arms.

"I'll be right back. I have to get something out of my room." I know it's silly but I knit. Yes I knit. Everything from baby booties to hats to scraves to blankets. I started when Draco and started to go out. The best thing I had ever knitted he now owned. I am going to knit a pair of cute little blue booties for Gabe. As I make a left I suddenly feel like something's not right. When I turn around a shadow moves and I wip out my wand. I feel someone's arm snake around my neck and then someone's breath on my ear.

"You're going to pay mudblood." I'm so scared I can barely breathe. I want to scream out but I can't find my voice. My heart is beating erratically in my ears. Pounding. I feel the air move as a hand nears my face, ready to punch the living daylights out of me and is stopped merely a cinemeter away from my face. The protection charm!

"What the hell?" Pansy screams.

"Nice try Parkinslut." I smirk and walk away until I feel myself falling back wards. My falling is slowed so that when I hit the floor it feels as if I had laid myself down instead of being pulled down backwards. I stare up at the ceiling and Pansy walks away. Thinking she's hurt me. I pull myself up and get the yarn and hurry back to the hospitaly wing before I can have anymore confrontations. I knit until I can't anymore. When I wake up there's a letter on my lap. Written in nice script. Draco's script. My name is scrawled across the front.

_Hermione, _

_I thought that leaving you would make it easier for me to forget you. I thought that ignoring you would help ease all of my pain but I was wrong. I thought not saying good bye would kill the hurt inside of me but instead it made it stronger. I can't tell you where I am or what's happening to me. Don't try to send anything back. Just remember something for me: I love you. With everything that I am I love you. When I find away out of this I will come for you. I will find you. I promise._

_I am forever yours._

I start to sob uncontrollably. Ginny looks up at me concerning flooding her every feature. She picks the letter up off of my lap and reads it. She hugs me and cries as well. Suddenly nothing seems to matter. What's happening to him? What if they kill him? Whoever they is. What if he never sees Rose? What if Rose never gets to see him? Yes he acted like a royal ass the day he left but I mean...now...it seems so far away. I can't even take the emotions that fill me now. I can't sit here and think about how he left me. I know I'm over emotive because of my pregnancy but this sucks far beyond anything else. I want to throw stuff. I want to scream. We graduate May 8. Two weeks away. They can't come fast enough. I look at the letter and fold it up. I stick it in the pocket of my jeans and walk away.

(G)**R**(A)**D**(U)**A**(T)**I**(O)**N **(D)**A**(Y)

I sit in these pews almost seven months pregnant. Almost. Give me a week and I will be. I can't look at Gin or Lav or Pavarti because if I do looks of pity will but donned upon me and I don't want it. Their pity I mean. They're great friends don't get me wrong but I just don't want their pity anymore. We even have burgundy and gold graduation robes. I look at Slytherin and think about how Draco's not going to be there to graduate. I want to break into tears right now. Here at graduation but I know I won't. I know I can't. McGonagall is standing up there giving this speech on and on blah di blah and then she calls me up because I had the highest grade average. Figures. I give some stupid speech I wrote about how the year ended too quickly, about how we made it through the war, and how we would now make it on our own in the world and I was sure everyone of us would. Of course I said all of this with a stupid fake smile plastered across my face. The only thought that managed to cheer me up was that Rose was arriving in less then three months. I'm taking all of my graduation money, because that's what I asked to have for graduation, and put a down payment on a house, buy stuff for Rose, and stuff for the house. Lav and Gin are living together after Graduation and I feel so envious of them and then sometimes I don't. I can see them whenever I want. They're only an apparation away.

"Hermione Jane Granger." I am pulled from my thoughts and walk across the stage and except my diploma. I am no longer a student at Hogwarts. It's not like I can go to university. I give a small sad smile and step off the stage. After everyone's graduated I don't stick around for the party. Pavarti can't either but I don't go with her either. I grab my bags and apparate to a small muggle inn and ask for my key. Room 508. When no one's watching I apparate. I accio a copy of the Daily Prophet for the ads for houses. I can only afford a small thing. I have to find work soon. I get a small five hundred galleon check in the mail everyother month for my services in the war. That will only get me so far. I magically put away all of my things and then write down all the addresses of house that I can afford in wizarding London. I end up finding a fourteen hundred squarte foot flat that rents out at three hundred fifty galleons a month a week later. It needs a lot of repairs but they can all be fixed magically. My rent includes all of my utilities thank god. I finally leave the hotel room and settle all of my things into my new flat.

August 1 I start to feel cramps. More like freaking contractions. I call up Ginny, Lavender, and Pavarti since we all bought cellphones and they apparate over to help me with all my crap. Overnight bag. Check. Friends, check. Draco, not check.


	9. Rose Madelyn Granger? Or Is It StClaire

Chapter 9 Rose Madelyn Granger

I let that one tear escape for Draco and then in a flash it's gone. A year ago Ginny and Lav were at my house for two weeks before school. I year ago Draco and I's story began. Now it's continuing with me going into labor with his child and him not being with me. Life sucks doesn't it? Well I guess I should be happy right? But Oh MY GOD!!! This pain is just so inconceivable.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG." I scream as the next contraction comes. "Oh he will rue the day I find him!!!!" I scream as Ginny grabs my hand and tries to soothe me through it. NOT HAPPENING!

"Ok, Ms. Granger is your husband, boyfriend, or the father of the child present?" The healer looked up at me from his paper work.

"No he's bloody not the bloody tosser!" I scream.

"I am never putting myself through this." Lav sighs and looks sympathetically in my direction.

"THIS WAS NOT A CHOICE DAMN IT!" I glare at her. She gets the point and back off. Good. I don't need her implications right now. I breathe a sigh of relief when the contraction passes. Their three minutes apart now and I really don't think I'm going to make it! I really don't!

"Herms you can do this! You are the brightest, prettiest, and most amazing person I've ever met! You can do this!" She said as if reading my mind. The healer comes to the side of the bed giving Gin a flirty smile.

"Stop flirting and tell me when this will be over!" I scream at him. I love screaming right now. It makes me feel better.

"Well Ms. Granger it could possibly over in an hour or ten it's hard to tell sometimes. But you look like another thirty minutes and we can push this baby out." He smiles at me, all fake and stupid like. When he leaves the room I am so grateful. I turn to Gin and Lav with almost a tear in my eye.

"You and Lav will be Rose's god parents. I know that's weird. But if anything happens to me, be there for her ok? Like you were for me." I say trying to cry. It's not the time to cry right now. Oh shit here it comes.

"Bloody HELL!!!!" I scream.

"Well that's the first time I've heard that out of your mouth Hermione Granger." I look up and it's Harry and Ron! HARRY AND RON! They missed graduation. They didn't know I was pregnant. I hadn't told them. I'm surprised they don't hate me. I smile at them meekly.

"Hey."

"We missed you." They smiled back and said at the same time. Oh how I had missed them so much. Not more then Ginny and Lav I tell you. In the next two seconds Gin and Lav were on Harry and Ron like god knows what. Kissing them and crying. I guess I would be too if Draco was here. I guess that life was never meant for me. For him and I to live forever together. Growing old and seeing our children grow up. I start to cry even though everyone else thinks it's for a different reason it's not. Oh for fuck's sake! The healer rushes in.

"Ms. Granger we're ready for you to push." Oh god. Oh GOD! OH GOD!!!! I can't do this. I can't. Ron rushes over and so does Harry and they hold each of my hands. I grip them so tightly. I push so hard for an hour! It's the hardest thing I've ever been through! Ever. But it's all worth it as I gaze down into my beautiful baby girl's big bright silver eyes. Silver eyes. I can see brown hair patches on her little new born head.

I start to weep. Horrible gut wrenching sobs that come from the bottom of your heart. I am rocking the baby back and forth as she cries with me. Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Lavender are staring at me not knowing what to do as I sob. I feel so left. Then finally I can control them. They're now silent tears streaming down my face and Rose is gazing up at me and I am thinking. I am her mother. I smile this huge smile and look at everyone in the room. This is my family from now on. This is how I'm going to spend the rest of my life and it's not bad. Because everyone in this room loves me just as much as I love them.

When I finally get back to my flat with Rose I set her sleeping body in her crib. She looks so peaceful. I envy her. My stomach is slowly returning to normal size. I sit down on my couch and look up at the ceiling. So much has happened. So much. I haven't even contacted my parents about Rose. I know I should but for right now I have to lie here. Harry and Ron don't care about the fact that she's Draco's daughter they just are going to spoil her rotten. Their beloved niece. I smile when I think about it. I'm going to spoil her rotten.

**R**(O)**S**(E)'**S **B(**D**)A(**Y**) Ten Years Old

I'm twenty-seven years old. God I'm so old and my daughter Rose. God she's beautiful. Her wavy brown hair, her sharp features and silver eyes. I look over at my husband John. We've gotten on so well and Rose loves him even though she knows that's not her real father. John is black so obviously he's not. I love him. I truly do. But nothing can compare to the love I felt for the first guy I ever loved.

"Mummy can we go to that book store you like so much?" She looks up at me with those big silver eyes. I could never say no to those eyes. On either the father or the daughter.

"Of course love. Put on your coat. You too John." I kiss him quickly on the lips.

"I'll stay with Seanna." John says, " And you can take Rose to the book store."

"Ok. See you later love." I call as I shut the door of our lovely house.

Seanna is my second daughter. She's three years old and I've been with John for five years. Seanna's just as beautiful as Rose but in a different way.

"Hold on to Mum's hand." I tell Rose sharply.

"Mom I'm not a baby." She looks up at me.

"I know." I say almost close to tears. "I know."

"When am I going to get to play with Gabe, James, and Bridget." She whines and I smile at the reference to my five best friend's children. Parvarti and Gabe live down the street from us. She's not married but at least she stayed with us. Harry and Gin live in London while we live on the outskirts with their son nine year old James and two year old daughter Lily. Ron and Lavender inherited to Burrow when Molly and Arthur moved to a nicer area and let Ron and Lav fix it up. Bridget is their eight year old daughter, and Celine is their four year old daughter. We apparate and turn up outside my favorite book store.

"Run along and find a couple of books love." I say and smile as she runs away with enthusiasm. She loves books just like me. But she loves danger even more like her father… After ten years I still haven't heard from him. It does leave me wondering.

After ten minutes of waiting I go looking for Rose and find her staring up at a man. I must talk to her about that. It's rude to stare at people.

"Rose. ROSE MADELYN ST.CLAIRE." I say in a stern voice. "Come here now."

Slowly the figure turns around and I feel as though I can't breathe anymore. I look at someone I haven't even seen for ten years. Draco Malfoy. He looks so good. Much better then he did when we were in school. School, Rose. She must recognize him from the pictures I have of him. The ones I showed her. John is so great about this, letting Rose find out anything she wants about her real father. I look at him and suddenly I'm not even happy or astonished anymore. I am freaking ANGRY! How could he leave me and Rose like this? How could he have done that to us? Before she was even born. It's not like he knew I guess. It still pisses me off.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I narrow my eyes and look at him as if I want to murder him.

"I…I've been looking for you for years." He says, his head down.

"What do you mean? You're the one who left school! WHO left ROSE and me." I say looking at her. Now that their both in front of me I notice how similar they are. She may have my personality and my hair but her features are all him. I find myself actually starting to cry but I don't stop crying. "You just left us."

"I didn't know I was leaving two…" He whispers.

"Why? Why did you ignore me that day?" I say sobbing now, Rose looking at me scared out of her mind. She's never seen Mummy cry and people looking at us as if we were crazy.

"Because…I had to go into hiding Hermione," I flinch at the sound of his voice saying my name. "Death Eaters were after me. My father, all the others. The ones that hadn't died in the war. They still wanted me. A double agent had reported to McGonagall that…that they wanted me dead. So she sent me into hiding. I hid for three years! Three years until we finally killed them all. Seven years I spent looking for you. Now I've found you and my…" He choked. " My beautiful daughter Rose. Wait St.Claire?" He looked at me confusion written all over his face. " Is that another middle name you gave her?"

"No. It's my husband, mine, Roses, and her sister Seanna's last name." I look down sheepishly.

I had never imagined being in this kind of situation. I couldn't even believe this was happening. I find him when I'm finally settled down and forgotten about, well not completely, started to live with the situation. What happened between us seemed so long ago, but now looking at him it's like it all went away. It feels like we're back in school and are just having another spat but this time it feels bad, the pit of my stomach. I feel like this is going to end badly.

"Your husband, her sister…Seanna?" He looks at me painfully. Suddenly I wish I wasn't in this book store. That Rose and I had stayed home with John and Seanna.

"Yes." I say quietly. "Where's your wife? Your daughters? Sons?" I ask him.

"There was only ever you Hermione. Only ever you. I only loved you." He looks into my eyes and every part of my body is on fire. Just like old times. My body urges me. It urges me to do what I used to do when he looked at me like that. I throw my arms around him and kiss him.


	10. I Wish

Chapter 10 I Wish…

As I stand there with my arms around him, kissing him in a way I hadn't in years…I pull back quickly. Rose, John, Seanna. I can't do this to them. I can't let them be dumped they way my father dumped my mother and I. Seven years ago. Rose doesn't even know him. Seanna will never have the chance. But this is better I guess. I look at him, tears still forging their way down my cheeks. My breath coming out erratically. My heart beat faster and louder then I've ever felt it. He's looking at me with this bewildered look and Rose is staring at me and crying as well.

"Rose," I say choking back more tears and sniff. "This is your father."

"My…my father." She gasps and runs to him, hugging his knees. That's when Draco starts crying too and it's crazy. Everyone's staring at us like we're a family. But actually we're separate families. They would never guess. We're all crying…we're all crying.

"We have to go!" I cry out of nowhere. It just occurred to me that Rose will inevitably tell John that I kissed him. That I threw my arms around him and let him hold me. I had to extract it from her memory and that was always messy. Taking things out of people's memory. I muter the curse and she barely hears it. All she remembers is that we went to the book store. Now people may see me as cruel but…John's just been so good about everything! I doubt he would like it much if his wife kissed another man! I feel really bad about it but…when we get home I immediately kiss John. He deserves better then me! It's just that I can't help thinking about what would happen if I never had married John! What if I had been more forceful that day I found out that I was pregnant? What if I had made him stop? Made him talk to me? Ten years ago. Ten years ago. When I was seventeen. Oh God when I was seventeen…I wish I was seventeen again. God it would be so much better. So different.

Then two weeks later someone is phoning me at 6am! 6am!!!!!! It's Parvarti! It's been so crazy and I haven't talked to her in a week. I feel really guilty for not talking to her for so long but it's just crazy. I flip my phone open in a hurry.

"Varti?"

"Herms! Guess what? Fred Weasley and I are getting married!" She squeals through the phone!

"What?" I am completely dumbfounded and upset that she hadn't told me sooner.

"What's going on love?" John calls sleepily from beside me.

"It's Varti! She and Fred are getting married." I tell him in a hushed tone.

"Wow!" He says just as surprised as me.

"When? In a week! We've been planning it for six months and I've got you guy's dresses and everything. The rehearsal dinner is Friday and we're getting married Saturday!" She says and just by the sound of her voice I can tell how in love she is and how happy! How HAPPY! She is!

"John and I'll be there!" I smile.

"Um…Herms there's a problem about something else…"

"What? Go on tell me!" I command

"Draco, he'll be there!"

"Fuck!" I curse vehemently.

"I'm sorry, Mione, but Fred wanted him to be there, you know since he saved Gin and all eleven years ago!"

"No, it's fine!" I pull a tight smile as if she could actually see me.

"Are you sure…?"

"Well if it wasn't what am I going to do? Fuck squared!" I scream! John gives me this look, because I never cuss. Well at least not out loud and not in front of Seanna or Rose. I had obliviated the memory Rose meeting her father! What kind of horrible person am I! ARG!

**REHERSAL DINNER**

Everything seems so surreal. As I enter the room everything looks white and I'm more nervous then I should be. I made myself look really good today! I kept a good figure, even after I had two kids! I know amazing right? I am wearing a great dress. This is a black tie occasion. It's not a classic black cocktail dress, but I love it. It reaches mid-calf. John helped me pick out! It dives heavily in the back and comes to a point right before my bum. From that point the fabric takes a red strip around my bum and then comes to the front a the side of my hip and drops to the bottom of the dress. Since it's backless, the tattoo that I got after rose was born is there on my back. A small Rose on the top right corner, the flower part is colored in red and the stem is black just how Draco wanted me to get it. He always told me he wanted me to get a rose tattooed on me somewhere. He said it didn't matter as long as the stem was black and the flower part red. He said it would be classic and small and our secret. When I was twenty-two before I met John, about two months before I did, as a tribute to the fact I would never see Draco again I got it done. The tattoo always makes me smile. He told me about the tattoo thing that night. The night Rose was conceived.

I try not to get teary. We left Rose and Seanna with a babysitter. Gabe, James, and Bridget are with them so I hope Gidget (the squib babysitter) was prepared. There was a four piece orchestra at the front of the room and I finally spotted Varti! God she looked so good, so happy and that made me happy. This is what I always wanted for her. Always. I walk over to her and give her a huge hug.

"Varti! God this is so great!" I hug her again and move to Fred. John kisses Varti on the cheek and claps Fred on the back.

"Herms I need to talk to you…" She says pulling me aside. She points out him. _Him! _

"So…" I say even though I know he looks unbelievably good in his surely designer tux. Who was I kidding he looks so gorgeous! Better then that but I run low on vocab and thinking when ever I look at him. I shouldn't even be feeling this way! I'm married for fuck's sake!!!! Suddenly the orchestra starts to play and John and I go out onto the dance floor along with Harry and Ginny, Varti and Fred, and Lav and Ron. There are more people that I know but none that I care to remember.

"Can I cut in?" Says a voice I used to get chills from…oh wait I still do!

"Sure." John says not even recognizing the fact that it's the father of my first child! I start to really panic. I give John a pleading look but he didn't see it, he just walked over to Harry and Ron.

"You look beautiful." He smiles at me and I go weak in the knees.

"You look good too. I had to wipe Rose's memory of seeing you at the book store." I whisper. He steps back from me. Breaking our dance.

"You did what?" He says as if he didn't quite hear me.

"You heard me." I say looking down at my two inch heels. Man, am I getting old. So much time has passed. I find myself silently crying after everything that's happened. He's still standing in front of me and I'm still crying. He's looking at me with a look I've never even seen before. One of pure disgust. I thought I'd seen him look at me disgustedly when we were younger but, this, this look on his face was pure disgust. No one is even noticing what's going on. No one should. It would upset many people. So many people.

"How could you?" He said with so much emotion in his voice, I felt like I've committed murder.

"I…I'm happily married, I have two wonderful kids, a wonderful husband and then you come into my world. Turning everything upside down and I don't even know where to start anymore." I say tears falling more vigorously and determination penetrating my polite voice. This was no time for being polite. I turn to walk away from the seen and I hear him take a sharp intake of breath.

"You got it?!" What the hell is he talking about?

"What?"

"You got the tattoo." I turn around and through my tears I see him give me a wry smile.

"Yeah, I got it when I thought you still might come around." I sniff.

"Well I did, didn't I?"

"A marriage and a kid too short." I frown and then I run out. Past Harry, Ron, and John. Passed Parvarti and Fred. Passed everything. Well not run. I march out. It would be stupid to run from somewhere in this dress. Some things might fall out if you know what I mean. So I'm glad I applied waterproof mascara today. What I didn't see was Draco coming out after me. I made it all the way to the veranda in this place before I noticed him sidling up beside me.

"I didn't have a choice Hermione. Or you know I would be the one married to you. I would be the one with the two beautiful daughters Rose and Seanna. You would be my beautiful wife that I could kiss and hold hands with and grow old with. Not some other man's. But it didn't end up that way and I'm sorry it didn't because no matte what you will only be my one true love. I may love again but it will never be as true as the love we had, have…what ever it is." It was then that I realized how much I needed him. Just seeing him again…I lean in even though I know it's wrong and that John is two rooms away, I kiss him. Lightly and gently like the last time we ever will kind of kiss and pull away. What I didn't anticipate was that John would be standing there looking ready to murder. That's would I didn't think of. That he would come to look for me. I am so dumb sometimes.

"What the hell is this Hermione?" He seethes. Draco's hand is on my tattoo! The one I got at this weird parlor where I used to live. My tattoo feels like it's on fire and I close my eyes. I don't have an explanation. That I love both of these men and can't decide? Oh that'll go over REAL WELL! And then I say it. It slips out with out any more thought I say it.

"I wish I was seventeen again. I wish it was the day I found out I was going to have Rose."


	11. Deja WHAT?

Chapter 11 Untitled

God, life can be a bitch! I wake up this morning with a splitting headache and my backing aching horribly. I must have had a ton of alcohol to drink. I lean over to wake up John when I realize I'm in a single bed. A single bed with gold and burgundy covers and I get up and my thighs are taut and so is my ass! I run into the bathroom screaming and look at myself in the mirror. My twenty-seven year old self in my seventeen year old body! Jesus! I scream again.

"Could you stop bloody screaming?" Yells Lavender from the next room.

"Lav?" I call from the bathroom. "Am I dreaming?"

"No but I was! Having a right good one about Ron…" She says grumpily to me.

"Sorry love!" I say with a sigh.

"When did you start calling me love?" She asks now fully awake and stretching.

"Um…now?" I try.

"Okay." Lav says giving me this look as if I belong in Bedlam. Maybe I do. Maybe this is all a bloody dream! What am I going to do if it is? What am I going to do if it's not? What's happened to John, to Seanna and Rose. Oh my god ROSE! She's in me right now. I forgot how weird it was to be pregnant. I lift my shirt up to see my flat stomach that I hadn't seen again since before Seanna was born. God do I want to be here? I miss Seanna and John, and Rose. What have I done? I've cursed myself. No I haven't, I have given myself the chance to be with the one I truly love. I almost squeal with excitement. Then I remember how hard it was just knowing that Draco was gone. I don't think it'll be much better this time around. Hold on a bloody minute, when do I go back? Do I go back? What the hell is going to happen to me? UGH! THESE THINGS CAUSE SUCH DIFFICULTY! I look at my back and the mirror and the rose is still there. It wasn't there when I was seventeen. God!

"Hermione what's taking you so long? I've got to shower too!

God I haven't even started my shower. I turn on the water hop in scrub and hop out. I wrap myself in a towel and walk out holding my pjs and finally letting Lav get into the bath. I stick my tongue out at her and she smiles. I love to be silly for no reason. Being seventeen is going to be great! I run back into our room and pull on fresh knickers and a pair of jeans. I open up my closet and look inside for a shirt. I pull out the same one I remember wearing ten years ago. It's so cute, a navy blue tee with white sparkly screening that said Sexy Mama. And all in all I am. I am sexy and I am a mama. I laugh inwardly at this and Lav just looks at me again and thinking Bedlam. I gather her and Ginny and go for Madame Pomfrey's wing. I'm looking at it with such a different perspective. I mean I've already been through this twice, once with Rose, and then with Seanna. But now my body thinks it's the first time.

This time I look as the vial changes from my blood color to neon looking green! I try to hold back my smile but I can't. Everyone's expecting my breakdown. I guess I'm expecting it too but I don't have it. I run from the room. I have to catch Draco before he leaves. I catch him just as I had the first time around but this time I don't just yell his name.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy! I am pregnant with your baby so you better turn around this instant. Don't ignore me! I know where you're going." I know the baby thingamee got him but I just wanted to make sure. He finally turns back and looks at me. I can see the storm invading his usually unreadable grey eyes. He walks back to where I'm standing breathing so hard I can't even think. He's so close our noses are almost touching.

"Pregnant?" He whispers.

"Pregnant." I give him a small smile.

"You know where I'm going?" He says seriously.

"Yes. Don't leave me and your daughter."

"How do you know what it is?"

"I can feel it." I lie, but a damn good one at that.

"I have to go Hermione. I have to go. I can't stay here." He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Then suddenly I get an idea. I look down at my messenger back and rip out a bit of parchment. I write down the address I until I find John. It's the flat, the first flat I ever purchased. 121 Tenth Street. I wrote it clearly and made sure he could read it. I lean forward and kiss him with all I can muster. I make sure he can feel it all over his body. I sure can feel it all over mine. When I pull back he looks at me.

"What are you going to name her? Have you decided yet?"

"Rose Madelyn Malfoy." I smile putting her last name with his. Hermione Jane Granger-Malfoy. I really liked how that sounded.

"Marry me Draco?"

"When I get out, when I get away from all of this. I will." He whispers. "I love you Hermione. Know that." He looks at me so seriously. I wonder if I'm doing the right thing.

"I love you too. Know that Draco." I kiss him again. Demanding more and more. I want to have him there, while we're still seventeen but as soon as I reach for the front of his shirt and try to pull him into an empty classroom he pulls away.

"That's how we got you knocked up." He says trying to make light of the situation even though we all three know he's leaving.

"Yeah. We should try it again though. With out the knocked up part." I smile.

"As soon as I get back, trust me that's the first thing we're doing." He smirks.

"Hold I have to show you something." I say pulling him quickly into the classroom. I pull my shirt of my head.

"Mione, don't do this to me." He croaks. I kind of forgot that we were just about to have sex. Anyway. I turn my back to him and I can practically hear him smiling.

"You got it done?!" He laughs.

"Yeah. I did! " I turn around a smile at him.

"Put a shirt on, you're killing me!" He sighs dramatically. "I'm going to miss you like hell." He murmurs against the skin of my forehead.

"Yeah, right back at you." And we just hold each other.

We stumble back out of the classroom and I hug and kiss him all over his face good bye and he tells me he loves me over and over again and I tell him the same. Finally we have one of those really good movie kisses that lasts like ten minutes and he pulls away and I watch him go. Go away from me for three years. Walk down that hallway but I know that in three years we will be married…right?


	12. New Adventure

I am so sorry that I took like years to update. I kind of got out of writing after some things happened but I would like to finish this story. I still haven't decided if this will have the ending that everyone is hoping for but I hope that whoever reads this chapter will like it. It starts a little on the darker side.

Chapter 12

What I so stupidly did not realize at that moment was that messing with time is a dicey proposition. That every second that falls out of place something else must fill in. And as the year passes everything is almost the same. The pain that rips through me is the worst. I had forgotten how awful it felt to be missing a piece of yourself. Rose was born on exactly the same day and I got exactly the same flat after graduation. And the one thing that keeps going on in my mind over and over again is because of this I have lost Seanna forever. I have lost my child and the man who repaired me when I was broken. I have forgotten how to heal. And so I keep this flat and my job as a bookstore owner holding on yet again to a broken dream. This time though Rose holds a slight tinge that wasn't there before and I think that somewhere deep inside I kind of hate myself for the whole situation. Everyday is kind of a monotonous torture. I know what is going to happen from the time the sun rises to the time it sets. I know that Bob will say hi to me on the way to work tomorrow and that three months from now Rose will come down with a cold that will take weeks to recover from and that even though it's happened before I will be scared to death until she recuperates. I am tired of living this life over because those three years without him, they were devoid of life for me, they were meaningless. I know now even more that I would not have made it through those three years the first time without Rose. She is a blessing.

When I pick Rose up from pre school and walk through the front door I am angry and upset. For the first time in a long time I can feel the blood in my body pumping and my heart throbbing. Why I am sitting here in a moderately average flat acting as the damsel in distress? Why am I waiting around for _him _to finally get off his ass and come and find me? Before I know it my mind is working faster than I can keep up with it and within seconds a plan is laid out before me. I am not going to wait another two years for him to come and find me. I am going to find him. I know I gave him the address and I know that it could be tomorrow that he rushes through the door and I have the life that I have so desperately sought after. But more than likely that piece of paper was burned by him a long time ago because I know that mind of his and he wouldn't want anything linking him to me or Rose in any way. I set Rose down in her play pin and rush to my bedroom pulling out any and everything to pack into a trunk. It's a half-baked idea but I can no longer sit and watch my life pass by agonizingly.

I take a quick shower and put on a pair of shorts and a blue cotton tee. I make no effort to disguise myself because the war is over. It has been for awhile. I pack a couple of books for light reading and then shrink my trunk and place it in my pocket. Next on the agenda is to pack for Rose. I am sure Auntie Ginny and Uncle Harry will have no problem baby-sitting for a few...weeks? I hope I'm not gone that long. I hope Rose doesn't forget me...her mommy. When I finish I hurry back into the living room and look down at my beautiful daughter. She deserves a whole family. She deserves her mother to be with her father. She deserves better than this dump hole. I pick her up and hold her close to me, breathing her in. My baby. I let a small tear fall onto the top of her brunette head and with a crack we apparate leaving the safe boring life I once new behind.

I land in the middle of Ginny's living room and I know I have startled her. Her eyes are big and her mouth frozen in a shocked "o". The tea she was holding had dropped to the ground with a smash; glass and liquid everywhere. The infamous Potter is no where to be found. I know it will be easier to convince Ginny so I am thankful for his absence.

"Way to completely scare me to death." Ginny wheezes, slowly coming back to life.

"Sorry it's just I really needed to speak to you right away and apparating to the door and waiting...well I just couldn't do it. Listen I need you to keep Rose for three weeks to a month. I know it's a lot to ask and I know you don't exactly adore children but you see Ginny my life is slowly wasting away waiting for him and I just can't do it anymore. I have to go find him." I say too fast and without a pause for breath.

"You're going to go look for him?" She says slowly, processing.

"Yes." I whisper.

"Wow." She smiles to herself and I find that very odd. "Well the thing is Hermione I was going to wait until Harry got home to spread the news but I'm pregnant and I would love to keep Rose as practice for the real thing you know. I'm kind of terrified of this whole mother thing and you've got it down so well." I kind of felt guilty since it wasn't exactly truthful to call me a "first time mother".

"Oh that's great Ginny!" I shift Rose to my other hip and pull Ginny up off the couch for a hug. "I um wrote down all these instructions for you and I've got Rose's bed, play pin, clothes, and sippy cup. All the stuff she needs." I hand her over to Ginny's waiting arms and can't quite stop the tears from falling down my face.

"You're leaving now?" Ginny asks incredulously.

"Yes. I'm afraid if I don't go now I won't keep my sanity." I drop all of Rose's stuff onto the floor in front of the couch and enlarge it with a quick spell. "Tell Harry Congrats for me will you? I'll see you hopefully in a month!" I kiss both of Rose's cheeks and before I can decide against it I rush out of the front door and close it behind me.

I rest my body against the door breathing heavy. It is so hard to part with her. I close my eyes and try to think where to begin. Where should I look first? There were no specifics when he told me he went into hiding. Oh maybe this was all a huge mistake! I imagine the next two years continuing in the same fashion as this one and I know it's the right decision. It will be dangerous and I could die and so could he and this could be the end of chances for me but without it I have nothing. Leaving Rose possibly forever ripped another hole in my heart but it had to be done. I am going to hunt down and find Draco Malfoy.


End file.
